The big question is how? How can I change? What I need to do to have a smile in my face again? To feel good about myself and others? It’s something inside me that is broken… it’s not my routine, my family, my job… it’s really inside me. It’s like my whole life has been a disappointment and a few months back I was all hopeful and then things start to cool off. People whom I count on, are suddenly not there anymore… nothing really changed in my life.

So maybe the question is not to give up? I can’t lose hope. And I need to stop couting on other people. I need to stop being disappointed. People don’t change, they will always be the same. But I can change. And I will. For my own hapiness, I will change.

First of all, let’s start complaining, *of course!*
I’m feeling a lot this lately… a lot lot lot. 99,9% of the time I feel lonely, even if I’m not alone… I think I’m terrible in conversations… because I can’t talk anything about me… people cut me off, and start talking about themselves. Sometimes I want to talk so much about something and I just can’t… no one wants to listen 90% of what I’ve to say… so I stay quiet, listening to what they want to say… And when I do talk, they don’t pay attention… at all. I feel like I’m disappearing

** Ok. Enough with the complaint! **

The return of Lost!

Soooo, the return of Lost! Finally, after months waiting for the new season, we finally saw what happened the bomb… but wait, what happened? It exploded. And not exploded. We are back in 2007. Outside the island. AND we are back in 2010 on island… So yes, we have two parallel realities. Confusing? Not really… if you found that confusing, you never watched Lost! I really enjoyed the premiere… maybe it was not everything I was expecting.. but I could see Juliet saying “Goodbye”. – sooo sad – And Charlie again! Alive!!! Ok, drugged Charlie is not fun. At all! But still it’s Charlie…
Spotlight to Josh Holloway in this episode. The guy was amazing! You can totally see the cynicism, the double-dealing in the “old” Sawyer. It’s like watching the first season all over again. And on the other side, you have the “new” Sawyer. The guy who is in pain for the lost of the woman he loved. Very, very well done! LOVE IT. <3

I really look forward for the next episodes! I hope we get to see the “old Locke” back. I don’t like the “bad Locke” (but then again, who does it?!). But I mean… Locke didn’t deserve a death like he had… Even Boone, with a much smaller part had a more decent ending.

The king Evgeny Plushenko.

Next week, the 2010 Winter Olympics will start. I waited four years for this event! It’s the best thing ever!!!! And in the beginning of this year, we Figure Skating fans had a surprise. Evgeny Plushenko – THE BEST FIGURE SKATER EVER – was back to compete again for a golden medal in the Winter Olympics. Of course… that was great for fans and Plushenko -who have been operated and without skating in a competition since the last Winter Olympics in Turino, 04 years ago – but for the other male skaters?? Noooooo. I think they all thought before: “Yeah, finally I’ve a chance of winning something!” A prove of that was Brian Joubert in the last European Figure Skating Championships. If you watch the video, or see the picture, you will understand what I’m saying… look Brian’s face?? I’m a fan of him too, don’t get me wrong. He is a great skater, and SOOOO pretty. But, NO ONE skates better than Plushenko. No one. He is perfect. And hopefully next week we will be able to see all his awesomeness again, ruling Vancouver! <333

Unfortunately I do compare the show with the books sometimes… but the non-following of the books is not the cause of me not liking the second season. The second season so far has too many mistakes, too many things that it shouldn’t be there.

1º - The “Banneling” episode. Richard suggesting to the High Priest kill all the D’Harans soldiers (and Kahlan accepting) was one of the worst mistakes they could have done. I’m sorry, but since when Richard or Kahlan accept killing someone to help themselves? Never, ever! That go against everything Richard is. It’s a huge mistake, and every time I remember this, I want to scream!

2º - The “Touched” episode. I adore the Richard and Kalhan part… but the episode had too many things happening. It was hurried… and if Zeed can kill every baneling like that, why the work in previous episode? It is not being coherence.

3º - The Underworld part… Oh.My.God. No no no no… it is terrible. Darken Rahl stays in the gate waiting for someone to die *and only someone connected with Richard dies* and EVERYBODY goes to the underworld – and in that particular place? No one has a good soul there? Including the High Priest of course. The best part to me *cough* so far was the Keeper’s voice… amazing. Really amazing…

4º - Richard’s anger. Richard is not in command all the time. He is angry all the time. All the time. He fights for everything now… sometimes you see there isn’t so much point in a fight, but there you go. You have a huge fight scene, just to have a fight scene in the episode.

5º - Kalhan. They are changing Kahlan’s character a lot lately. The only thing the new Kahlan knows to do is scream for Richard. And not to say the way she doesn’t know how to protect herself anymore. Now if you notice, Zeed and/or Richard always has to cover her in a fight scene. What happened to you, Kahlan? And this is making Cara appear more and more… not that I don’t like Cara. I love her! Books and show. But Kahlan is Kahlan, you don’t take away her space on the show. And btw, making Cara kill Dennee was a TERRIBLE idea.

I’m not even comment on Wizard’s episode… I couldn’t watch twice yet (and I do watch every episode at least twice per week) Because it’s that good.

If you read the spoilers you will see it keeps better and better. What are they doing with my show? Please screenwriters, please stop changing it so much The show will be cancelled if continues like this, and I really REALLY don’t want that!

*Spoilers ahead for those who didn’t watch it*

And I was not disappointed. I loved the fact that all secrets were out. LOVE that Sue was suspended, haha! I couldn’t ask for more, but wait, it had more!
Lea Michele was PERFECT singing “Don’t Rain On My Parade“. It gave me goosebumps when she reached that super high note at the end. Just perfect.
Finally Finn knows about Quinn and Puck. This will probably last a few epsodes yet, but it’s good to know we will have some changes later in the season.
And of course… Will and Emma. The ending was sooo sweet. I don’t stand Terri. What an annoying person she is. Even if he stills loved her *which clearly is not the case here*, how could he trust her again? Of course… we will see Terri again. I don’t think her story is over, she will annoy Will and Emma for a very long time yet.

Overall, I thought it was very brave of the writers/producers making a ending like this… it felt complete, which is strange because we are after all in the middle of the first season, but I love it, and I can’t wait for April 13 now!

**I’m soooo hoping for a Glee presentation in the next season of American Idol. **
**You can listen to the songs from this episode here**

Of course I know why I’m feeling like this… I’m stressed. There are so many reasons to be stressed, that is why I’m with this awful pain in my back too… I know all of this. I just don’t know how to stop thinking about things. Gahh I think tooooo much! I over analyze everything. I get upset with the most silly things… it’s like I don’t know people, but I do know them, so why I get upset when they do something I don’t like? I know it’s nothing major… deep down I know it’s nothing. But I’ve been there… I know better than that, little things will transform into a gigantic thing later.

And then there are things at home and others things that I keep thinking if I did it right, or wrong and if doesn’t work how much pain can it bring to everyone involved… but I guess about that, just time will tell if  it was the right or wrong thing to do.

So yeah… I think too much

Last Sunday I bought a pink Mini-Azaléia. I don’t know if you know this flower, or if has another name in your country. Here in Brazil they are called as Mini-Azaléia. It’s a very cheap flower and beautiful.I remember when I was young and in my grandparent’s house had a huge tree with this flower (not the mini version, lol)… in the Spring the flowers would just open and make of the most beautiful things I ever seen.

The flowers in my vase are starting to open now and the smell… it’s not like a rose smells – which is for me incomparable – but it’s soooo good. And it’s getting prettier and prettier everyday.

So, this is my new blog. Why I did it? Because I’ve too much crap inside my mind, and sometimes I would love to write about it. Not because I want someone reading it ot because I think it’s important, but because it feels good to talk/write what you are thinking sometimes, even if it’s something silly and stupid.

I love to watch tv shows. you can see the ones I’m currently watching in the sidebar. So this is something I’ll probably write about it. Movies, music and books are also going to be here. My life is boring, so probably you won’t see much about it, but I’l try my best. And of course, I’ll write about my sites… my babies and loved ones.

I don’t have a domain yet, because I’ve no idea if I’ll keep writing… I’ve a zillion things to do, and sometimes I just don’t have time. If things work out alright, I’ll buy my domain soon

Feel free to come back anytime